THE BODY POSITIVE BLOG

listen to your body.
Tags >> beautiful woman
Thursday, December 8, 2011

Connie SobczakI woke up this morning thinking about the struggles people go through with their bodies as winter sets in. I’ve heard many comments over the past week from people  about feelings of discomfort with their bodies—tight, achy, tired, sluggish, and physically low. They are noticing their desire for foods that are high in sugar and fat, and feel badly about getting away from their usual routine with food and exercise.

As my mind slowly came to consciousness this cold, dark morning, out popped the perfect title for an essay: ‘Tis the Season to be Squishy! From there my sluggish brain remembered years gone by when I really thought something was wrong with me each winter because my relationship with my body changed so drastically as the darkness set in. I felt out of touch with my physical self, and thought I’d never be happy again. I felt squishy!

squish • y, adj.
1.     soft
2.     overly sentimental
3.     weak

What I’ve learned in fifty-one years of cycling through the seasons is that human beings are physical creatures on this earth, and, as such, are meant to put on the pounds and be still in the winter. We are meant to go into hibernation mode, to slow down, stay indoors to keep the cold at bay (if we are so lucky), and to eat foods that give our bodies the fat they need to stay warm. No matter our beautifully natural body size—fat, thin, or somewhere in between—in winter we are meant to slow down, eat more, and honor the season.

This is hard to do in our modern human world. I often feel I am a bear in human clothing as I watch other people getting their work (including holiday shopping) done with what seems to be ease! As the days get darker, and the temperature drops (though I really can’t complain too much living in California, but I will anyway!), I find I’m not interested in much rigorous exercise, and I feel very happy eating foods with more fat and sugar. I bake my favorite cookies regularly, and dishes with cream, butter, oil, or cheese make me quite content. I still eat my veggies; I take pleasure in cooking delicious, nutritious meals, and most days I go out for a walk during the daylight hours, but generally only to do my shopping. I do my work, though less efficiently, and I keep my obligations to other people, but with great effort. My true desire is to curl up in my favorite chair with a good book, and to read—all day, every day—and not step out of my house until springtime!

I love watching the squirrels that spend their days on the fence outside my office window. In the fall, they scurry back and forth, jumping into the giant oak tree with their acorns, stashing them everywhere imaginable for the coming winter. They are very busy. Yesterday I noticed that the squirrels are beautifully fat with shiny coats, and they are spending much more of their time lying in the sun with their legs flopped over the sides of the fence, their sweet faces resting on their front paws!

Let’s be like the squirrels, my human friends! Since we still need to semi-function in the cold winter months and can’t go into full winter squirrelhibernation like the bears, let’s at least recognize that our bodies physiologically behave, as do our brains, like other creatures on this planet, and allow ourselves to winterize. Let’s be okay with the softening of body and mind, so we can focus our gaze internally and process the lessons of the year. Let’s be kind to ourselves and enjoy the delicious foods and beverages of the holidays. And remember, if you feel guilt for eating those cookies or shame for indulging in holiday spirits more than usual, you will end up consuming more of what you think you should limit in the first place!

Honor that winter asks for a different type of balance—one where time to move slowly may be requested more than rigorous movement, and our cravings for certain foods have merit. In their book, Healthy Pleasures, Dr. David Sobel and Dr. Robert Ornstein write about how our brilliant (my word) bodies crave certain foods to stimulate production of necessary neurotransmitters to combat stress or to ensure our intake of important nutrients. In their words, “It may be instinctive, then, when we eat certain foods to bolster production of these neurotransmitters to help us get through stressful situations or to satisfy a hunger for a specific nutrient. So, the next time you ‘feel like a steak’ or ‘need a cookie’ it could be your brain—and not your stomach—talking.” Out of the mouths of doctors!

As we all know, the holidays can be stressful for many reasons. Let’s not make life harder by talking smack about our bodies and beating ourselves up for indulging in the flavors and sensations of the season. Let’s remember that spring always does follow winter, and our desire to move more and eat a lighter fare will naturally return, especially if we don’t make a New Year’s resolution to go on a diet! Our moods will lift as the light returns to our portion of the planet, and we will function more effectively in our strange human world.

‘Tis the season to be squishy—enjoy!

Connie Sobczak is the Co-Founder and Executive/Creative Director of The Body Positive. She is currently completing The Body Positive's book to teach women how to live with more joy, vitality, and beauty.


Monday, August 8, 2011

This blog was written in response to the article, Loving My Body Almost Killed Me, by Jess Weiner

attitude-web

Dear Jess,

We at The Body Positive congratulate you on your recent improvements to your health. There are points in your article, and in your messages over the years, that can help both women and girls in their pursuit of size acceptance and health. In a world that diminishes a woman's confidence and sense of self in so many ways, women need more support to get back in touch with their innate intuition. Women need to believe they have the tools within them to practice excellent self-care. Women need help to begin the journey of self-love, which means learning to trust themselves again, and to understand the messages their bodies send them.

What we can't get past is the dangerous title of your article, and the mixed messages it contains. Let's be honest. Loving your body did NOT almost kill you. We will agree with your doctor's assessment that your self-neglect caused you to be out of touch with food quality and quantity, and that your lack of movement was not great for your health. However, there is an important distinction between loving your body and an ‘anything goes' attitude. Loving our bodies does not mean indulging our every whim. Real self-love means listening deeply, and being fierce and protective of our physical and mental selves. That means taking care of your pancreas, too! 

The Body Positive message is that loving yourself will motivate you to find health. This health won't be determined by a number on the scale. As your doctor explained, "Jess, you're focusing on the wrong numbers..." Ultimately - and I believe you actually know this - the dieter's mentality (your desire to lose 30 more pounds even when your metabolic fitness is good) is impossible to sustain. Exercising past exhaustion, or always depriving yourself of dessert is not sustainable.

Loving your body means listening on the deepest level possible to what your body needs in order to be healthy in the very best possible sense of the word. It means honoring when you get out of balance, which it sounds like you were, and why your metabolic fitness levels were not so good. Loving your body means forgiving yourself for your lack of self-care and choosing in the moment to change your eating and exercise behaviors to be more life-sustaining.

Jess, being a spokesperson for any cause is challenging, much less a revolutionary one. We hope your journey of loving your body is a life-long pursuit. After all, we do agree, listening to your body's physical and internal needs IS, as you said, "a crucial part of loving yourself completely." Please just remember that health is improved by adopting positive self-care behaviors, even if your weight remains unchanged.

. . .

Diets don't work. Why? Because they are not sustainable. The Body Positive offers Be Body Positive workshops to develop skills to help you on the road to discovering what is your best individual self-care.

Other excellent resources that offer valuable help in deciphering the confusing messages about health and weight include:

We wish everyone a compassionate journey towards confident, joyful self-care.


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