This blog was written in response to the article, Loving My Body Almost Killed Me, by Jess Weiner
Dear Jess,
We at The Body Positive congratulate you on your recent improvements to your health. There are points in your article, and in your messages over the years, that can help both women and girls in their pursuit of size acceptance and health. In a world that diminishes a woman's confidence and sense of self in so many ways, women need more support to get back in touch with their innate intuition. Women need to believe they have the tools within them to practice excellent self-care. Women need help to begin the journey of self-love, which means learning to trust themselves again, and to understand the messages their bodies send them.
What we can't get past is the dangerous title of your article, and the mixed messages it contains. Let's be honest. Loving your body did NOT almost kill you. We will agree with your doctor's assessment that your self-neglect caused you to be out of touch with food quality and quantity, and that your lack of movement was not great for your health. However, there is an important distinction between loving your body and an ‘anything goes' attitude. Loving our bodies does not mean indulging our every whim. Real self-love means listening deeply, and being fierce and protective of our physical and mental selves. That means taking care of your pancreas, too!
The Body Positive message is that loving yourself will motivate you to find health. This health won't be determined by a number on the scale. As your doctor explained, "Jess, you're focusing on the wrong numbers..." Ultimately - and I believe you actually know this - the dieter's mentality (your desire to lose 30 more pounds even when your metabolic fitness is good) is impossible to sustain. Exercising past exhaustion, or always depriving yourself of dessert is not sustainable.
Loving your body means listening on the deepest level possible to what your body needs in order to be healthy in the very best possible sense of the word. It means honoring when you get out of balance, which it sounds like you were, and why your metabolic fitness levels were not so good. Loving your body means forgiving yourself for your lack of self-care and choosing in the moment to change your eating and exercise behaviors to be more life-sustaining.
Jess, being a spokesperson for any cause is challenging, much less a revolutionary one. We hope your journey of loving your body is a life-long pursuit. After all, we do agree, listening to your body's physical and internal needs IS, as you said, "a crucial part of loving yourself completely." Please just remember that health is improved by adopting positive self-care behaviors, even if your weight remains unchanged.
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Diets don't work. Why? Because they are not sustainable. The Body Positive offers Be Body Positive workshops to develop skills to help you on the road to discovering what is your best individual self-care.
Other excellent resources that offer valuable help in deciphering the confusing messages about health and weight include:
- Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight
- Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works
- Association for Size Diversity and Health
- National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance
We wish everyone a compassionate journey towards confident, joyful self-care.